100 Song Fics
by XxXMiyavisHeartXxX
Summary: My friend has dared me to do this ever since i read one like this...100 one shots based off of songs aka. Song Fics. Requests welcomed and encouraged! and needed lol
1. Masquerade

_**( The song for this song/fic is You belong with me by Taylor Swift)**_

**Masquerade**

Kai sat on the couch, waiting for the others so that they could start practicing. Why was he always early? Or was it that everybody else was always late?

Kai looked up as the door burst open, and Reita came in with an angry expression, yelling into his cell phone.

**You're on the phone  
With your girlfriend  
She's upset  
She's going off about  
Something that you said  
She doesn't get your humor  
Like I do**

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Well, how did I know? I'm sorry, but-..Aoi!" Reita spoke loudly, anger evident. Kai watched wide-eyed, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

**I'm in my room  
It's a typical Tuesday night  
I'm listening to the kind of music  
She doesn't like  
She'll never know your story  
Like I do**

"Look, we'll talk about this later! When I get home. It doesn't matter. Whenever I feel like it!" Reita said, hanging up the phone. Kai remained silent.

Reita had his back to him, not yet realizing that he wasn't alone.

"Are you ok?" Kai spoke up, causing Reita to jump.

"Oh, Kai, it's just you! You scared me!" Reita exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest.

"I'm sorry," Kai apologized, "What was that about?" Reita shook his head, walked over and sat beside Kai.

**But she wears short skirts  
I wear t-shirts  
She's cheer captain  
And I'm on the bleachers  
Dreaming about the day  
When you wake up and find  
That what you're looking for  
Has been here the whole time**

"It's nothing. Just another minor disagreement," he lied.

"Minor?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow. Reita and Aoi have had a LOT of 'minor' disagreements lately.

It hurt Kai to see Reita so upset, and then try and put on a smile for the band that Kai could see right through.

**If you could see  
That i'm the one  
Who understands you  
Been here all along  
So why can't you  
See you belong with me  
You belong with me.**

"It's fine," Reita reassured him with a smile. A genuine smile, just for him. Kai loved that smile.

"Reita, I have something to tell you…" Kai spoke up. Reita looked up from the spot his was watching on the ground, and looked at Kai with curiosity.

"Yes, Kai?" he spoke quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Reita, I lov-…" Kai started, but was stopped as the door opened, and Ruki, Uruha, and Aoi came in. Ruki and Uruha were laughing about some joke that had been told before they showed up. Aoi was scowling, and looked like he was in a really bad mood. Kai and Reita moved away from where they were sitting close together.

**Walking the streets  
With you and your worn out jeans  
I can't help thinking  
This is how it ought to be  
Laughing on a park bench  
Thinking to myself  
Hey, isn't this easy?**

Aoi sat down beside Reita, wrapping his arms around his waist, and pulling him close, whispering his apologies into Reita's ear. Reita smiled warmly, and curled up to him. Kai frowned.

After practice, Kai started walking home when he heard Reita call him from behind.

"Kai! Wait up!" Kai turned around, and saw Reita running up to him, pulling a tired looking Aoi with him. Great. Why did he have to bring _him?_

"Didn't you have to tell me something?" Reita asked. Kai shook his head. He couldn't say it with Aoi around, now that they had made up.

"It was nothing." I love you. I want you, but you'll never want me. You have him.

"Are you sure?" Reita asked. Kai smiled and nodded. "Ok, well, I'll see you later then, I guess." Reita gave him another one of those genuine smiles before turning and walking away with Aoi.

**And you've got a smile  
That could light up this whole town  
I haven't seen it in awhile  
Since she brought you down  
You say you're fine  
I know you better than that  
Hey whatchu doing  
With a girl like that**

Kai sat at home, looking out over the sky from his deck as the sun descended down into its final farewell. Sighing, Kai found that the sunset resembled Reita. Always bright, and beautiful. But just like the sunset, Reita was moving away from him, leaving him; never to know how he felt.

It wasn't that Kai didn't like Aoi. He was fine. Aoi was always nice to him, no matter what mistake Kai made while playing. However, Kai still held Aoi responsible for Reita being upset. Whenever Aoi and Reita got into a fight, Reita would always come to Kai; upset. Kai would always be there for Reita.

**She wears high heels  
I wear sneakers  
She's cheer captain  
I'm on the bleachers**

The phone rang. Kai took it out of his pocket and looked at the call display. Reita.

"Hey, Reita," Kai answered. He listened as Reita told him excitedly about coming to a club with him and Aoi. Kai smiled, and told him that he would love to. Secretly, he wished that it would've just been him and Reita, and that Aoi wouldn't come, but he knew that it was an impossible wish.

At the club, Kai sat at the bar as Aoi and Reita danced. He was glad that Reita was having such a good time, but he didn't want to watch them. Holding his drink in hand, he got up, only to sit back down as he saw Reita coming over to him.

"Hey! Why don't you come dance?" Reita asked. Kai's heart skipped a beat. Did Reita just ask him to dance with him? "I'm sure that there are plenty of lucky guys out there for you." Kai heart sunk. He should've known better. Kai shook his head.

**Dreaming about the day  
When you wake up and find  
That what you're looking for  
Has been here the whole time**

"No, that's ok. I think I might just go home. I'm getting tired." Reita looked disappointed, but nodded his goodnight. Kai got to the door, only to see Aoi making out with a random guy. He stared, open mouthed. Glaring at him, his surprise turned to fury. Aoi was going to get a few words from him, and they were NOT going to be nice.

"A-Aoi??" a voice from behind Kai spoke before Kai had a chance to. Turning, Kai saw Reita. Oh, no. Aoi also turned to see Reita looking at him with a broken-hearted gaze.

"Face it, Reita. It was over anyways," Aoi said, before following the guy he had previously pinned against the wall. Kai hurried over to Reita.

"Reita, I'm so sorry," he whispered to him as he hugged him to him. This was not the time for selfishness. Reita needed him, and Kai would be there; like the good friend he was. That's all he ever would be to Reita was a friend.

**If you could see  
That i'm the one  
Who understands you  
Been here all along**

Almost a month later, Kai gets another call from Reita.

"Hey. Are you going to the masquerade??" he asked hopefully. Kai had heard about the New Years Party, but had decided to stay home. He wouldn't have had much fun anyways.

"No. I have to stay home, practice that new song that Ruki showed us," Kai said, quickly making up an excuse. He comforted himself that he wasn't lying to Reita. It was true. He DID have to practice the band's new song. He just didn't have to do it yet. It was a fairly simple song. Apparently Reita knew that, too.

"Come on, Kai. That song is easy, and with your talent! You could have it mastered in a hour. Come have some fun!" Kai sighed. He really hated to disappoint him.

"I'm sorry, Reita. I can't." Reita sighed, and was silent for a moment.

"Oh well. I guess when you're busy, you're busy. I wish you were coming."

**So why can't you  
See you belong with me  
Standing by and  
Waiting at your backdoor**

Kai opened the doors, and walked into the elegant hall, and saw a large group of people in beautifully made outfits dancing around the room, their faces hidden behind wonderfully decorated masks. His own outfit was rather eccentric. He wore tight black leather pants, with a slightly baggy black silk shirt that hung loosely around his arms, and tight across his waist. Two strings were tied with a loose knot near the top of the shirt, and he wore leather gloves to cover his hands. On his feet he wore large leather boots that had a slight heel to them. Since it was a masquerade, he wore a cloth mask over his head, and a black mask to cover his eyes.

**All this time  
How could you not know  
Baby  
You belong with me**

There he was. Kai saw him walking aimlessly through the crowd, looking bored. Kai's breathing grew heavier as he saw Reita more towards the exit. He hurried after him, trying to get to the edge of the crowd before him.

**You belong with me.**

Kai stood there, transfixed, as he saw the one he loved move through the last of the crowd. Reita looked up, and saw Kai. He stared at him for a few seconds, before Kai walked over, silently offering his hand. Reita took it hesitantly, still not sure if he knew this mysterious stranger. Kai led Reita out to the middle of the floor, where they started dancing.

"Do I…know you?" Reita asked quietly, curiosity obvious on his face as he stared up into Kai's eyes.

**Oh, I remember  
You driving to my house  
In the middle of the night  
I'm the one who makes you laugh  
When you know you're about to cry**

Kai spoke not one word the entire night, but only continued to dance with the one that he has loved for so long, but could never have. With An Cafe playing in the background, it was Reita's perfect never stopped once until the countdown began, and the champagne was poured. Kai took Reita's hand, and gently led him outside to the back garden. The trees were decorated with little white lights that stood out against the green leaves. Sitting on the white marble bench under the trees, Reita watched his mysterious dance partner.

**And I know your favorite songs  
And you tell me about your dreams  
Think I know where you belong  
Think I know it's with me**

Reita watched as the other began to take off the mask that covered his face.

"Wait," he said, stopping the other. Kai gave him a questioning look. Didn't he want to know who it was that he had spent the whole night with? All thoughts that were running through Kai's head stopped when he felt Reita's lips against his. Kai swore his heart stopped.

Then his mind registered what was going on, and kissed back, eagerly tasting the sweet taste that was uniquely Reita. Before he could let it get any farther, Kai pulled back, much to the dismay of the other.

Smiling, he ran his fingers down Reita's cheek, and the later looked up into Kai's eyes, waiting. Slowly, Kai reached up, and removed his mask.

**Can't you see  
That i'm the one  
Who understands  
Been here all along  
So why can't you see?  
You belong with me.**

Kai stood outside on his balcony, watching as the sun slowly rose into the sky. How beautiful the colors were, how vibrant and welcoming. He smiled as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his bare waist, and lips softly touch his shoulder.

"It's so beautiful," the voice of the man behind him said. Kai smiled, and turned around to look into the eyes of Reita, wrapping his own arms around the other's neck.

**Have you ever thought  
Just maybe  
You belong with me?**

"You are my sunrise."


	2. Sleeping with the Enemy

(The Enemy by The White Tie Affair)

**The Enemy**

**I come in late with no surprise  
you're always standing at the door with those angry eyes**

Aoi was in the living room, waiting anxiously for _him_ to return. He paced and paced and paced, but nothing seemed to help. He knew what _he_ was doing, and he didn't like it. The first few times, it hurt Aoi. Deep inside, it hurt. It hurt that_ he_ would do this to him, but after a while, Aoi had become emotionless towards _him_, and the horrible truth.

_He_ came in, looking at Aoi with tired eyes. _He _didn't even try to hide his exhaustion anymore. In _his_ point of view, Aoi had no idea what was going on, and was just upset that he was always 'working' late. Closing the door behind him, he moved past Aoi to sit on the couch, turning on the TV.

**you stayed up late just to start this fight**

"Where have you been?" Aoi spoke, venom almost _dripping_ from his mouth. The same inevitable question. The same answer, all the time.

"Work, of course. It's been a hard week," _he_ answered with a heavy sigh. It's been a hard week for three months now. Stupid lies. Always the same. Did he honestly believe that Aoi would never find out? Every night it was the same fight.

"Why are you never home anymore, Uruha?" Aoi asked, standing in front of him, arms crossed.

"Because I have to work so that I can afford to get you all the things you're always wanting; so that we can afford to continue to live here!" Uruha's argument. It was the same every night. The same things. Aoi would complain that he was never home, and Uruha would complain that Aoi was spending too much. In reality, there had not been one purchase, other than food, for a good six months.

**but my ears are getting tired I think ill call this a night**

Uruha shook his head. He wasn't going to listen to this. It wasn't as if Aoi knew that what he was actually doing was _far _less honourable than working late.

"I'm not listening to you going on and on all night. I'm going to bed," Uruha said, retreating to the bedroom.

**You keep on talking but I'm not listening**

Uruha could hear Aoi yelling at him from the living room. He ignored it all. There was no use listening to what Aoi had to say. It was always the same thing. The same mindless chatter. Uruha had had enough of it. This was the whole reason that he had been visiting the same certain house three times a week.  
**I'll be the first to say I'm sorry just to be this to end**

There was no point for Aoi to continue, he knew that Uruha wasn't listening. He never did. He never got it. Uruha just couldn't see that Aoi knew. He _knew._ And still Uruha went out. Three times a night. To that house. Always the same house.  
**You keep on talking but I'm not listening  
I'll be the first to say I'm sorry just to be this to end**

In the end, Aoi would still curl up behind Uruha, knowing that he wouldn't have him for much longer. He would whisper his apologies into his ear over and over again, until Uruha turned around. Until he would wrap his arms around Aoi, and then, and only then, would Aoi be able to forget what was going on behind his back. Able to forgive. Able to love.

**I know that its strange that straight to this very day  
I'll be the only one to say that I'm sorry without you**

"I'm sorry," was all it took for Uruha to forgive Aoi. He knew that what was happening wasn't supposed to. He knew that Aoi never deserved what Uruha did; and as much as Uruha tried to talk himself into believe that it was Aoi's fault, he never believed a word of it. Throughout the night, they would hold each other. Both knew what was happening to them, and neither one of them wanted to let go. Neither one.

**you know that its real don't make it a big deal  
I'll be the only one to say that I'm sorry without you**

In Aoi's mind, it was all the other person's fault. The one that tricked his beloved into straying from their path together. Why couldn't he have just stayed out of it? Now, every time that he saw his face, he wanted so desperately to punch him. To mess him up until nobody would be able to recognize him. But, alas, Aoi never did. He knew that the band was very special to Uruha, and he would never put it in jeopardy for his own selfish needs.

**You're always chiming in with your this and that  
your crying at my door like a pussy cat**

Even that one time that Aoi had decided to confront him. He had walked over to his house, stood in the doorway as he rang the bell; waiting anxiously for what he soon planned to do. But when the door opened, and he saw the blonde man standing there, with Kai's arm wrapped around his waist, he couldn't do it. Seeing Kai there, not knowing what his lover was doing behind his back. He didn't want to see Kai's always smiling face when he found out. How it would turn to a look of disappointment, and Aoi could imagine hearing his heart break.

All Aoi could do was fall to his knees, and cry.

**I thought that it was over and that was that  
but you insist to persist me  
irrational enemy**

Aoi now had a secret enemy. One that nobody could find out about. In his mind, Aoi would imagine different plans to make the blonde pay for what he took from him, never acting on these irrational plans.

**You keep on talking but I'm not listening  
I'll be the first to say I'm sorry just to be this to end**

And still every night, after the yelling and screaming, they would hold each other. The flame that sparkled in the darkness for so long was finally going out. The candle was melting down. Soon there would be only the small wax puddle, a reminisce of what their relationship used to be, and what they used to have.

**You keep on talking but I'm not listening  
I'll be the first to say I'm sorry just to be this to end**

It was all going to end soon. Aoi could feel it. He could tell that with each passing day, the blonde was slowly taking some of Uruha away from him. Perhaps that it why every morning, when Uruha had to get up, Aoi refused to let go of him; because he knew that if he did, he would lose more and more of him. He tried desperately to hold onto whatever he had left, but it was no use.

**I know that its strange that straight to this very day  
I'll be the only one to say that I'm sorry without you**

Uruha didn't want to betray Aoi like he did. It was all the fault of the blonde haired man, who had taken him out one night, only to get him drunk and take advantage of him. Since then, Uruha had been going back, three times a week, to become the blonde's little sex toy. He would've never gone back, if not for the threat against Aoi's life. Uruha cried every night once he was sure Aoi was asleep. He didn't want Aoi to see his weakness.

**you know that its real don't make it a big deal  
I'll be the only one to say that I'm sorry without you**

Everybody has a secret. Uruha's furtive meetings with Reita; Reita would never tell Kai. Aoi knew about Uruha and Reita's meetings, but would never fully understand. Kai was just as oblivious to the fact that anything was going on, and would continue to live his life with Reita. It would've continued on this way forever, had it not been for Aoi's sudden determination that brought him to Reita's house the next day.

**appreciate validate sleeping with the enemy  
honest honest honest this is the way we play**

Aoi walked silently through the house. Nobody had answered the door, but Aoi found that it was not locked, and went inside. He could hear Reita and Uruha from a room at the back of the house. The door was slightly open, and Aoi could see them there, on the bed. He saw Reita hovering over Uruha, and his anger grew, but all of that was washed away when he saw Uruha. His face was twisted into a look of absolute pain, and tears were rapidly falling down his face. He wasn't enjoying it at all. And how _could_ he? Uruha was being forced into this, and only now did Aoi see what was _really_ going on. He could see now how Uruha wasn't doing this willingly.

**appreciate validate sleeping with the enemy**

Only moments later did Aoi come back with the gun he had taken from Reita's hiding place in the kitchen. He had been here enough times before to know about it. Taking a deep breath, he silently walked into the room, putting a finger to his lips to keep Uruha quiet, who was now staring at him. Aoi put the gun to Reita's head, who stopped moving.

"Get up." Aoi's short command triggered something in Reita's mind, and he quickly got up off the bed. Figuring he was in control, Aoi never saw the attack coming. Without warning, Reita grabbed the gun from his hand, and backed away, pointing it at Aoi. Uruha gasped. Aoi stared.

"Say goodbye," Reita said, before pulling the trigger, gun aimed for Aoi's head. Uruha covered his eyes in horror as he heard the scream fill the air.  
**honest honest honest this is the way we play**

Kai sat down beside Uruha as he stared into thin air. He didn't expect him to say anything. Kai hugged his friend close to him, giving him whatever sympathy he could. He understood. After being forced into something he didn't want to do to save the one he loved, only to have that person shot by the same person who was forcing him to do it all.

He remained silent as Uruha spoke only half understandable words as he looked into the casket. So much has happened. So much he never thought possible.

He never understood why Reita would do these things. It wasn't like him at all. Now, Reita was in jail; Uruha was crying over a casket that held the one person he truly loved, and who gave his life to save him.


	3. Dreamy Lovers Sleep

_//It's in the Rain – Enya\\_

_Every time the rain comes down  
Close my eyes and listen  
I can hear the lonesome sound  
Of THE sky as it cries_

Miyavi was sleeping on the couch, breathing softly, as the TV stilled played on a low volume. He had been waiting for Kai, who had left to run a few errands, but being already exhausted from an earlier game of basketball with Miku, he fell asleep almost immediately. He was still well in a deep sleep when the door closed, signaling Kai's return.

_Listen to the rain  
Here it comes again  
Hear it in the rain _

_Feel the touch of tears that fall  
They won't fall forever  
In the way the day will flow  
All things come, all things go_

"Miya?" Kai called out. Taking his shoes off, he set his bags on the kitchen table along with his keys. "Miya…?" Wandering into the living room, Kai spotted Miyavi asleep on the couch, one arm lightly resting over his face, and one leg hanging off of the edge. Kai couldn't help but grin as he saw this sight of a defenseless Miyavi. Kneeling beside Miyavi, he sat there for a moment and watched Miyavi as he slept, seeing his chest rise and fall with each gentle breath he took. Kai smiled as he rested his head on the sofa. He smiled when he heard Miyavi mumble something incoherent in his sleeping daze. Kai smiled, leaning his head against Miyavi's side, closing his eyes. What seemed like only moments later, he felt Miyavi's hand against his cheek. Not opening his eyes, Kai moved his head welcomingly to Miyavi's touch, letting out a warm moan. He heard Miyavi laugh quietly.

_Feel the touch of tears that fall  
They won't fall forever  
In the way the day will flow  
All things come, all things go_

"Come on Kai, it's time for you to get up now," Miyav said gently and quietly. Kai just stirred. "Come on, my Love." Squirming, Kai cautiously opened his eyes getting ready for the bright lights, only to find that it was dark out. Gasping, Kai sat up. He found that he was now lying on the couch that Miyavi was previously occupying. He looked over to see Miyavi leaning against the top of the couch, head resting on his arms, watching Kai.

_Listen to the rain... the rain  
Here it comes again... again  
Hear it in the rain... the rain_

"You woke me up…" Kai grumbled, complaining. Miyavi smirked, and moved around the couch to kneel down to kiss Kai's nose affectionately. Kai scrunched his nose instinctively. Miyavi smiled as Kai let out a small yawn, letting his eyes droop, showing his fatigue.

"Come on, Hun. Let's get you to bed, shall we?" Miyavi said, carefully wrapping his arms around Kai and picked him up. Kai held onto Miyavi's neck, trying hard not to fall asleep right there on his shoulder.

Miyavi placed Kai on the bed in Kai's room, carefully covering him up, before going to leave. Kai grabbed onto Miyavi's hand, having surprising strength for somebody who was only half awake. Miya turned his head back to look at Kai with a slightly amused expression.

"Yes?"

"You're not going to stay?" Kai asked, a small, tired pout graced his face. Miyavi thought for a moment, before slipping in behind his nearly asleep love. He was aware that he'd have to get up early, and sneak back into his own room, but he didn't mind. Miyavi wrapped his arm loosely around Kai's waist, curling up behind him.

_Late at night I drift away  
I can hear you calling  
And my name is in the rain  
Leaves on trees whispering  
Deep blue seas, mysteries_

Kai turned around in Miyavi's arms, and cuddled up as close as he could to feel the warmth that radiated off him. Smiling at his comfort, he found himself soon drift off to sleep to the sound of Miyavi's light singing.

Miyavi smiled lovingly as he saw Kai fall into a dream-filled sleep. He had sung a common song by Enya called _It's in the Rain. _It was one of Kai's favorites, and he often used it to lull him to sleep. Now satisfied that Kai was asleep, Miyavi was able to close his eyes and soon also fall into a deep sleep.

_Even when this moment ends  
Can't let go this feeling  
Everything will come on again  
In the sound falling down  
Of the sky as it cries  
Hear my name in the rain_


	4. I can't admit it

//I won't say I'm in Love – Hercules (Disney)\\

Ruki sat on the roof of the apartment building, his head leaning against his hand, staring across at the sunset. He didn't want to admit his feelings for Reita. It was just too much. He wasn't gay! He liked girls! He has dated many girls, and he thought that they were very good looking! Ruki sighed and shook his head. There was no use. He couldn't even deny it to himself. He was gay... He shut his eyes tightly. His parents were going to be so mad...His dad...

**If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!**

Ruki trembled and shoved those thoughts out of his head. He didn't want to think about that now. Last time this happened, it had turned out so bad....and his dad had nearly kicked him out because of it...From then on, he had denied that he was gay...wouldn't bring it up, even in his mind. Until he met Reita.

It had only been a few months before he realized his feelings. But what was his supposed to do about it? Reita couldn't possibly feel the same way. He had already shown his obvious interest in the other girls in his class. It killed Ruki inside, knowing that this time, he couldn't just get over it. Reita was the one. He was in love with Reita.

**Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you**

**Dude , ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of**

Ruki sighed sadly. What was he going to do? He looked down at the people walking on the streets below him. They seemed to go through life without any problems. How he envied them! Each person down there, making their way home from work, or to a party; free to live their lives without worrying about a good portion of the world being against what they loved!

**No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no**

**You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh**

Ruki felt the tears threaten to spill over his eyes. Reita was an angel to him. Reita was all that mattered to him. Such a cliché! Love... only a few months... Reita was new to the school, and Ruki had been told by the teacher to show him around school. Ruki accepted shyly. He had been so worried about how to act towards this new student! How easy it was back then. In only the short time, Reita and him had become close friends, and hung out most days. In fact, he was coming over in only a few minutes.

**It's too cliche  
I won't say I'm in love**

I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, dude  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
Oh

Ruki figured that he should probably be waiting downstairs for Reita to arrive, but he had been worried about what he planned to do all day. He was freaking out and needed to come to his favourite place to relax before Reita arrived. Ruki leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling the setting sun still warming the air around him.

Ruki felt himself growing drowsy, but couldn't bring himself to wake up. Soon, he was deep in sleep, only to dream of him and Reita. Their special time together in the forest, which had meant so much to Ruki, to only be taken as a friendly friend's game; everything to Ruki meant so much. How could Reita not see how he felt?

**You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad**

Waking up at suddenly hearing the door close, Ruki sat up. The sun had already gone down, and the sky was dark, and breeze blowing his hair around, messing it up. Ruki rubbed his arms, feeling a chill go down his spine. He turned around to see who had come up to the roof; there was Reita. Ruki stared, captured in the beauty of the other.

Reita walked over to the other quickly, touching the others bare shoulder, making Ruki tremble at his touch; the other's warm skin against his cool one. Ruki couldn't feel the cold anymore, only the other's touch. He kept screaming to himself to get a grip on himself. Reita was only here to hang out...then why was he looking at Ruki like that?

**No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no  
Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love**

"Ruki..you're freezing...," Reita said quietly, looking to Ruki worriedly, rubbing his arms, trying to warm the other up. Ruki had originally came up here in just his shorts; it had been warmer then, and he had not needed a shirt, but it was getting to be later in the year, and closer to winter. Nights were getting colder. Still, Ruki tried to impress the other and shrugged.

"Come on, you should go inside," Reita said lifting the other up. Ruki let him, liking the feeling of the others arms around him, although he was often confused about how the other treated him, he didn't let it show. Why would Reita tease him like this? Did he know how Ruki felt, and just liked to torture him? Even if that was so, Ruki cherished these moments, and held onto the other for as long as he dared. However, when he tried to move away, Reita just pulled him closer. Ruki looked up to the other.

**This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love  
You're doin flips read our lips  
You're in love**

"Reita?" Reita looked down at him and smiled. Ruki felt his heart skip a beat. The other's gaze made him melt; but that was nothing like how he felt next. Ruki watched wide-eyed as Reita leaned down and pressed his lips against his own. Ruki couldn't breathe even if he tried. He couldn't believe what was happening! Ruki relaxed, and closed his eyes, melting into the other's hold, kissing the other.

Reita pulled back and stroked Ruki's cheek. "You're so beautiful, Takanori..," he spoke softly. Ruki looked up at the other in awe, tears spilling from his eyes. Reita frowned and wiped them away. "Why are you crying, love?" Ruki sniffed, and wiped away his tears, smiling up at the other.

**  
You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it  
Dude , don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love**

"I can't believe this is happening..." Ruki spoke, still watching the other, almost as if in a dream. Reita smiled and moved some hair out of Ruki's face.

"Well, believe it...I've waited too long for you, Ruki...I'm not going to let go anytime soon." With that, Reita leaned down and kissed the other again. Ruki smiled and kissed the other back happily. He may not be gay, but he could certainly get used to this.

**Oh At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love**

_**A/n: **__Yes, I totally substituted the word 'girl' for 'dude' because I AM just that awesome..jkjk...no it just worked better that way..it was a little awkward, but I found it kind of funny xD_


	5. One way Pain

//Overcome- Within Temptation\\

It started so long ago. He can barely remember. Back when Ruki himself wasn't even certain about his sexuality. He had many unsuccessful relationships with women but all the accusations presented during interviews had made him think; wonder. He had never denied that another man looked good, but he never thought anything of it.

One time before an interview, Ruki was nervous and splashed some water on his face, trying to calm down. He heard the door close, and looked up to see Kai.

"Oh...hey, Kai. Is it time to go on?" Ruki looked to Kai, who didn't say a word. "Kai?" Kai moved forward and pressed Ruki against the counter. Ruki trembled, and stared at the other. "Kai, what are you doing?" Kai held the other's wrists down, and kissed him roughly. Ruki was so surprised; he didn't know what to do.

**Where are the heroes  
In my time of need  
Is my cry not loud enough  
Or have they gone all numb**

"Kai...stop," Ruki said, breaking away from the other, though he was forced to remain against the counter.

"Why? You like it..." Kai whispered to him, making Ruki shiver involuntarily. Ruki wasn't sure if he liked it or not. It was a strange, unusual feeling. And Kai? Well, that was just shocking. He was the most masculine one in the band, next to Reita; it didn't make sense.

"Nobody would have to know, Ruki. It could be our little secret..." Ruki knew that something didn't feel right, but he needed to know. Ruki looked at Kai and hesitantly nodded. He felt the other on his lips again, and he thought about it, not really reacting. Kai didn't seem to care. He never seemed to care about Ruki's feelings. It started out with that encounter in the bathroom. Ever since then, it had only gotten worse.

**They just tend to stand  
Out of the rain  
Thinking but not acting  
That they're not to blame**

First, it was only verbal. Ruki had returned home one night after hanging out with Aoi at the bar. It had been fun, but Ruki was tired, so they had decided to leave.

Ruki left his keys on the table, and stumbled into the living room after kicking off his shoes. The room was empty, and Ruki felt onto the couch, feeling sick and tired.

"Have fun?" he heard Kai's voice speak accusingly. Ruki glanced up to see Kai leaning against the doorframe to their bedroom. Ruki couldn't answer because he was suddenly throwing up. He heard Kai yelling and screaming at him. He couldn't stop. He groaned as he fell to his side, only to be grabbed roughly by Kai. He could hear the other calling him a drunk, a whore; so many other things that killed him inside. Why was Kai like this towards him?

**Falling and crawling  
A fight to stand up  
Memory still haunts me  
In the dead of night**

That night was the least of it all. Ruki wished that he could've gone back to that. Kai had become possessive. During concerts, if there was any fan service, Ruki would pay for it later. Kai had originally told him that it was better to keep the random groping and kissing since that fans loved it. Ruki learned the first time that Kai didn't mean what he said.

They entered their apartment after a very heated concert. It was very successful, the crowd loved it, and there was even a little make-out scene between Ruki and Uruha.

Ruki set down his water bottle, and turned to Kai, smiling. Kai refused to look at him. Ruki frowned, and walked over to him.

**Over and over  
I felt so small  
But one day I'll be stronger  
And you better watch out**

"Kai? Are you alright?" he asked carefully. Kai didn't speak, and filled another glass of water. Ruki moved to touch the other's hand. He gasped when Kai grabbed his wrist, the glass of water falling to the ground, stuttering.

"K-Kai?" Ruki spoke, frightened. Kai glared at the other, and pulled him out of the kitchen, into their bedroom. "Kai, please, let go!"

"Shut up, whore," Kai spoke venomously. Ruki whimpered as he was thrown down onto the bed, his wrists immediately being tied.

**I will overcome  
Your violence their silence  
Although  
It can't be undone  
I will overcome**

"Kai, please. Why are you doing this?" Ruki asked, tears falling down his cheeks. Kai saw this, and slapped the other across the face. Ruki whimpered, and remained silent. He knew what was to come, and he knew that afterwards he wouldn't be able to walk for a week.

Ruki fell trapped. He couldn't escape Kai. He couldn't leave; Kai would find him. He can't count how many times he had tried to escape.

Ruki had packed a suitcase, and as soon as he figured Kai was asleep, he quickly got dressed and grabbed the bag, hurrying to the stairs. His heart was racing.

**Knowing that I'm not the only one  
I will overcome  
It's the only way to carry on  
Where are the saviours  
Afraid of the toll  
Sorry do my nine inch nails  
Slash your soul**

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Ruki froze as he heard Kai's voice. He heard the other walk closer. One step. Two steps. He felt the other's breath on his neck, sending chills down his back.

"You're going to leave?" he spoke accusingly, touching Ruki's neck softly. Ruki trembled, and nodded. Kai's eyes narrowed, and his voice hardened.

"Then leave," he said, pushing the other, sending Ruki down the stairs.

**Such heroes  
Throwing stones  
Straight at the one  
Who is standing alone**

Ruki trembled at the memory. He had ended up with three broken ribs and a broken leg. Kai had told the others t hat Ruki had been drunk and fell down the stairs. Ruki, of course, couldn't say anything about it. The others wouldn't have believed him anyways.

It still got worse as the months wore on. Kai had started to hit him even when they weren't at home. Still, nobody really noticed until today.

Kai had once again cornered Ruki in the bathroom. Today, the band was practicing three new songs for their new album. They had taken a break for lunch, and Aoi had gone to get them all food.

**Twisting and turning  
It's always the same  
Truth is never honest  
When you're to blame**

Ruki was washing his hands when Kai came in, demanding sex as usual. Ruki was exhausted, and still needed the energy for the rest of the day. He shook his head.

"Kai, I'm exhausted. Not now," he told the other, hoping that Kai would just leave it alone. As usual, Kai did not leave it alone. He pushed Ruki against the wall, brutally raping him; Ruki was forced to remain silent and swallow his screams of pain. He could feel himself bleeding, the liquid dripping down his thighs.

**Pushing and pulling  
Never give in  
One day I wish  
You'll see you're not so beautiful within**

When Kai was finished, he let Ruki fall to the ground. Ruki winced, tears falling down his face, letting out choked sobs.

"You're pathetic," Kai spoke hatefully, looking down at the other. Ruki whimpered, just wishing that the other would leave. Instead, he felt a sharp kick to his stomach, followed by many punches to his face. Ruki begged for him to stop.

**  
I will overcome  
Your violence your silence  
Although  
It can't be undone  
I will overcome  
Knowing that I'm not the only one  
I will overcome  
It's the only way to carry on  
**

Despite his desperate attempts to weakly fight the other off, the other wouldn't stop and was slowly and painfully killing him. Ruki was giving up. He no longer had the energy to fight the other. He just wanted it to end.

He opened his eyes only slightly to see Uruha staring at them in horror. He wanted to yell; scream. He didn't want Uruha to get hurt. Kai didn't even seem to notice Uruha.

**Run and run  
Run and run**

Ruki closed his eyes as he heard Uruha leave, yelling for Aoi and Reita. Ruki laid his head back against the floor. He had no strength left. His vision was blurring, the scene around him starting to turn black.

He could vaguely feel Kai's hits and kicks, and then suddenly, it stopped. Blurring figures of Aoi and Reita pulling Kai off of him. Uruha putting Ruki's head up, talking to him. Ruki couldn't even tell what Uruha was saying. He let out a sigh, and everything went black.

~!~

**I will overcome  
Their violence your silence  
Although  
It can't be undone  
I will overcome**

It was raining. A small group stood out in the rain, dressed in black. The funeral had been beautiful. Exactly what he would have wanted. Nobody spoke afterwards. Gradually, the crowd disappeared, leaving only three males. Aoi and Reita comforted Uruha as he cried. Uruha's hair was a mess, and stuck to the sides of his face, but he didn't care.

"He'll never know how I feel," he said remorsefully, standing over the freshly dug grave, the smell of fresh dirt in the air.

**Knowing that I'm not the only one  
I will overcome  
It's the only way to carry on**

"I'm sure he's heard you, wherever he is," Aoi said, hugging the other. They walked away, the sky a dark grey; the rain poured heavily.

**I will overcome**

A/N: TAT so sad!!! I'm not going to write something like this for a while. The paper I wrote this on is covered in tears. TAT


	6. Lose Yourself

//Lose Yourself – Eminem\\

**Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity  
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment  
Would you capture it or just let it slip?**

Kyo was young when he realized that he wanted to sing. His parents mocked him; it wasn't _normal_ for a guy to want to _sing._ His dad wants him to do something great with his life. But the only thing that is running through his head is lyrics. Bringing together events of his life; he wants this! But everybody is against him.

**  
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy  
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti**

**He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready  
To drop bombs,**

It's a first performance; at school. Everybody is waiting, silently mocking him, but he's ready. He spent months preparing these lyrics. He was going to prove them all wrong! These lyrics are perfect. He'll show them. He holds the microphone to his mouth, and stares out across the crowd of his peers. Years of being singled out, he was going to show them all!

**but he keeps on forgettin  
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud  
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out  
He's choking, how everybody's joking now  
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!**

Kyo's hands shake; the crowd is staring at him; unimpressed. He can't remember, months of work on lyrics, and he can't remember one word...He stares wide-eyed. Everything is going wrong! He drops the microphone and walks off the stage. Walking past everybody, avoiding stares; he's failed.

**Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity  
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked  
He's so mad, but he won't give up that**

Kyo is walking down the street, away from the school. His lyrics in the garbage can outside a store a block back. This is the beginning, but it is not the end. He promises himself that. He is not going to let them believe that he sucked, no! He's going to prove to them that he has what it takes.

**Easy, no  
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes  
It don't matter, he's dope  
He knows that, but he's broke  
He's so stagnant that he knows  
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's  
Back to the lab again yo**

Kyo slams his bedroom door shut, ignoring his mom's voice downstairs calling to him. He pulls the chair back and falls into it. Pulling a piece of paper to him, he starts writing down everything. Scratching out words; it's back to the drawing board. New lyrics; new chance. Nothing is working; his head is hurting; emotions are overflowing. He throws everything off of his desk, run his fingers through his hair, music playing loud. His mom is trying to talk to him through the door that he is writing lyrics on. It has to work!

**This whole rhapsody  
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him**  
**You better lose yourself in the music, the moment  
You own it, you better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow  
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo**

His parents died in a crash three years ago. He's living alone in an apartment, trying to make it all work. No heat, not water; it's hard. He's breaking down. But still the inspiration comes, and he writes it down. He spends his time putting the words to the feelings; making an attempt. He's working two jobs, but he's getting there. He won't give up. He's not going to let everybody see him fail. Never again!

**The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping  
This world is mine for the taking  
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order**

Small appearances in small venues. It's an opportunity. He knows this, and he's getting there. Applause is like gold; but it doesn't pay the bills. He needs something more! A talent scout speaks to him, and it's the start of a new life.

**A normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem  
It only grows harder, only grows hotter  
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him  
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter**

Kyo is sitting in a large room. He is known all over the world. It's what he wants, but there is still something missing. He's traveling all around the world, bringing the music to the people. Spreading his personal moments through lyrics because that's what "sells". Kyo takes a walk down the street, hiding in a small cafe from fans; he orders a coffee from a pretty waitress. She gives him a smile, but doesn't show any signs of knowing who he is.

**Lonely roads, God only knows  
He's grown farther from home, he's no father  
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter**

Kyo returns home after a long tour, opening the door to see a small four year old girl in the hallway. He smiles and calls to her, but she remains staring at him as if he was a stranger. He frowns and steps back. Was he gone that long? Has this life he wanted turned everything around? The same blonde waitress; the mother of his child, is nowhere to be seen. He falls to his knees and cries. This one moment will not be on his next album.

**But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water  
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product  
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows  
He nose dove and sold nada**

It's been so long. He's no longer the new hit, people have moved on. His music, the real lyrics; it wasn't what sold anymore. He freaked out, threw things; glass breaking. He could hear his wife in the background screaming; his kid crying.

**It's been a year since he's sold an album; his time is up. Kyo can't help but feel as if the whole world has let him down. His wife had left him, and had taken their kid. He lived alone in a large house that was being repossessed. He cried himself to sleep.**

It's so quiet. Echoing; his sobs. All alone. There is nothing around him. It's his last night in this house. He cries, but what is there to do? His life is fucked up and there is nothing left for him. So they were right. Well, what kind of fucked up shit is this?

**So the soap opera is told and unfolds  
I suppose it's old partner', but the beat goes on  
Da da dum da dum da da**

_**[Hook]**_****

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage  
Tear this motherfucking roof off like 2 dogs caged  
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed

Sitting on the streets; his new home, he is shivering. There is nothing that he can do about it. It's winter; nobody cares about him.

**I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage  
But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher  
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper  
All the pain inside amplified by the fact  
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5**

Trembling; its summer. The needle in his hand his new friend. What else is there for him to do? The drug is a power; he can't deny it anymore. Any money he gets is for the drug...Free shit just ain't as good...but he takes it anyways.

**And I can't provide the right type of life for my family  
Cause man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers  
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life  
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder**

He's overdosed, and is in the hospital. Doctors and nurses around him are talking quickly, but he doesn't care anymore. He trembling fiercely now, and it's only a matter of time. The minutes are growing shorter.

**Trying to feed and water my seed, plus  
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna  
Baby mama drama's screaming on and  
Too much for me to wanna  
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony**

He sees his family in the waiting room crying, but not for him. Tears of happiness, you know? All the money they think they're getting...It's bullshit, you know? That the only reason someone's there for him is to see him die, expecting compensation? Fuck that..He tries to break free.

**Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail  
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot  
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not  
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go  
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot  
So here I go is my shot.  
Feet fail me not cause maybe the only opportunity that I got**

Last time he'll ever be in the papers...telling about a death...to come up on a show where all people look at is the crack. His life was fucked up, there's no doubt about that...but whatever happened to getting a second chance?

_**[Hook]**_****

You can do anything you set your mind to, man


	7. End of Madness

DEDS TO LILLY 3

**You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand**

Ruki sat down. Reita had just called to say he'd be home in an hour. One hour. Sixty minutes. Ruki jumped up and rushed to the kitchen. He'd better hurry.

He pulled pots and pans from the cupboard, preheated the own, and started searching for the ingredients. He wanted to make Reita the perfect dinner. It was Friday night, and Ruki had a plan. He smirked, and pulled the door to the pantry open. He looked, and found the flour on the top shelf. He cursed quietly, and tried to reach it. His fingers barely touched it.

**When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in**

He stretched, and could almost reach it when he lost his balance, and fell to the ground, sending the flour to the ground with him. Ruki looked around. Flour was everywhere around him. He shook his head, and more flour came from his hair. Ruki sighed. Since he could no longer make what he had originally planned, he began cleaning up, and started boiling some noodles on the stove.

**No I won't give in**

Ruki moved into the bathroom and began to wash flour out of his hair. He had to look perfect when Reita came home. Right in the middle of rinsing his hair under the tap, he heard a strange sizzling sound coming from the kitchen. Ruki gasped, and ran towards the kitchen, his hair still soaked, to find the noodles boiling over the pot.

Ruki rushed over to the stove, and shit the heat off. To his great surprise, the pot promptly burst into flames. Ruki yelped as the fire alarm went off. He looked around him. There was still flour on the ground, his hair was wet and looked horrible, his stove was currently on fire, and on top of that, there was a constant beeping in his ears from the fire alarm.

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

Ruki rushed to the sink to find the fire extinguisher, but only slipped on the remaining flour. Ruki winced as he hit his head. He looked up as he saw the door open. Oh, not already! Reita was staring in shock.

Ruki looked up at Reita, and he felt his eyes water. Everything was supposed to be perfect, but it was the exact opposite. There was no special dinner, the kitchen was a mess, and Ruki probably looked as if he had spent the night in an alley.

About half an hour later, Ruki was sitting on the couch, still upset, while Reita ordered take out. The kitchen is currently covered in white foam from the fire extinguisher that Reita had used to put out the fire.

Reita hung up the phone, and sat beside Ruki. A few tears still escaped Ruki's eyes, and trailed down his cheek. Reita hugged him.

**So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late, this could all disappear  
Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah**

"Don't worry, love. It was an accident," he told him softly, thinking that Ruki was just upset because of the fire. Ruki sniffed, and wiped away his tears, speaking to Reita, his voice still quivering.

"No, everything was supposed to be perfect. I wanted to surprise you with dinner, but then the flour…and the fire…and my hair!" Ruki pouted. Instead of surprising Reita with a nice evening, he had caused him only more work! More stress! Reita smiled, shook his head, and kissed the other.

"Love, no matter what happens; being with you is _always _perfect!" He said, stroking the side of the other's face, playing with his hair. "And don't worry about your hair. You are so beautiful." Reita kissed Ruki again and smiled. Ruki smiled back at him.

The doorbell rang, and Reita got the food. They ate and watched a movie, a romantic comedy for Ruki's sake. Ruki smiled afterwards, and rested his head on the other's lap.

"I suppose tonight wasn't a total loss," he said, looking up at Reita. Reita smirked.

"Of course not." Ruki smiled, and then thought of something, playing with the other's shirt.

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

"You know…there is still part of my plan that we could do…," he said, straddling the other and looking seductively at him. Reita smirked, and kissed Ruki lustfully. Ruki smirked, and wrapped his arms around Reita's neck. He felt Reita's hands travel under his shirt; up and down his back, before removing the cloth.

Ruki closed his eyes as he felt Reita kiss and bite his chest. He ran his fingers through the other's hair. Reita bit down on Ruki's chest again, making Ruki move closer to the other. Reita moaned as the other moved over his hard member. Reita wrapped his arms around the other and carried Ruki into their bedroom.

Ruki fell back against the bed, pulling Reita with him. He kissed the other again roughly, breaking away only for a moment as he removed Reita's shirt. Reita kissed down Ruki's stomach before stopping at Ruki's tight black jeans. Ruki watched as the other slowly undid the jean zipper, releasing Ruki's own painfully erect cock.

Ruki gasped as the cool air reached the sensitive skin. Reita ran his hand over the other's thigh, moving to gently stroke the other.

**Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**

"So beautiful," he said quietly, more to himself, although Ruki could still hear him. He smiled and pulled Reita up so that he could kiss him again. His hands roamed down Reita's bare back as Reita marked Ruki's neck. Ruki moaned and tightened his grip on the other.

Ruki's hands traveled to Reita's belt, undoing it quickly. Reita caught the other's mouth in a rough kiss as Ruki succeeded in removing the last bit of clothing between the two of them.

**La da da da  
La da da da  
La da da da da da da da da**

Ruki rolled over to straddle the other, moving against Reita, causing the other to moan. Ruki watched Reita's expression as he continued to move against him.

"Ruki, if you keep this up, I'm going to have to take you right now!" Reita warned, looking into the other's eyes lustfully. Ruki smirked, and instantly Reita knew he had given the other an idea. Not seconds later, he felt the other's warn heat around him. Reita moaned deeply, his eyes shut tight in pleasure. "Oh, Taka!"

Ruki smirked, restraining a pained cry from leaving his throat. Instead, he began moving up and down the other's length. Reita held onto the other's waist, moving up against his lover's movements.

Only moments later, they were both nearing their climax, moving quickly with heavy breathes. Ruki, blinded by pleasure, felt himself tense as he came onto the other's stomach, barely breathing as he was overwhelmed in ecstasy. Feeling the other clench around him, it was only seconds before Reita, himself, came deep within the other. Ruki sighed happily, and fell beside his lover.

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

They were both panting hard, and Reita moved to pull the other closer. He stopped however, when he felt a liquid between them, thicker then just the other's cum. He looked, and what he saw scared him to the point where he almost couldn't breathe.

"Taka, you're bleeding!" Reita said, looking at the other worriedly. Ruki just looked at him, obviously not taking that fact too seriously.

"Yeah, well, that happens," he said, yawning. Reita, though, got up and moved to the other side of the bed. He picked Ruki up carefully, and carried him to their bathroom. "Reita, really, it's no big deal."

**Keep holding on  
Keep holding on**

"Taka, please. Just let me do this," Reita said, filling the tub with warn water, placing Ruki in the water. Ruki winced, but got comfortable. He smiled tiredly over at Reita.

"You take too good of care of me. I don't deserve you," he told Reita, tracing the side of the other's face with his fingers. Reita held the other's hand, and kissed him softly.

"I love you," Reita said, sitting beside the tub. He stayed with Ruki until the water grew cold. Ruki nearly fell asleep drying off. Reita once against carried Ruki to the bed, having changed the sheets while Ruki was in the tub.

The two curled up under the blankets, Ruki moving to cuddle against his lover.

**There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

"Reita, I love you, too."


	8. Forsaken

Reita vampire, Ruki human, forbidden love story, Reita's POV

I'm over it  
you see I'm falling in the vast abyss  
Clouded by memories of the past  
at last, I see

Sometimes he can remember; what happened before he changed. It's difficult at times, it's been so long. Ever since then it has been nothing by hiding; hiding who he really was, and what he had become. It was a horrible life, but he didn't choose it. Why would anybody choose this? To be this horrible...monster, thing!

I hear it fading  
I can't speak it  
Or else you will dig my grave

He met Ruki downtown, one evening. He had saved Ruki from almost certain death when he was being hunted; by one of his own! They were so upset at Reita, and he was forever exiled, and hunted himself! But it was worth it. He might not have realized it then, but it was.

We fear them finding  
Always whining  
Take my hand now  
Be alive 

At first, Reita was so mad; and he took it out on the other. Ruki never left his side, and Reita didn't understand it. He treated him so badly, nearly killing him a few times, and yet he stayed. Reita would never understand the other's reasoning, nor would Ruki tell him.

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one

Reita had protected Ruki since then. He wasn't sure what drew him to the other, but the shorter always had some way of making him change his mind. Reita knew that it was pointless. He could not die. It was just how it was. Ruki, on the other hand, would eventually pass on, and leave Reita. This shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did, since they weren't dating or anything.

We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

It was in December when Ruki told Reita how he felt. However, instead of being overjoyed by the realization that the other felt the same as him, Reita was angry. Would it never be easy on him? Was it his fate to be in a doomed relationship? He felt so bad afterwards for being so mean towards Ruki, but the other held no worries. He had forgiven Reita that very same night.

I'm over it  
Why can't we be together

Reita had told Ruki of his worries; why he was so angry that night. Ruki understood that Reita would remain the same even as he himself got older. Ruki begged Reita to change him. Of course, Reita denied him every time. They spent every moment they could together by now, and it was killing Reita. He knew that Ruki was spending more time with him, then anything else. He was still going to school during the days and staying up at nights with Reita, despite Reita's worries. He could tell the other was starting to get sick from this way of living, and he didn't like it one bit.

Embrace it  
Sleeping so long  
Taking off the mask  
At last, I see 

Reita left. He didn't want to risk the other's life because of his selfishness. All he was doing was making the other ill. By the time the other found he had left, Reita would be far enough away that he could never find him. It hurt Reita but it was what needed to be done. He knew it was; even though he loved the other. It was why he had to leave! Yet, no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that it was the right thing to do, it still hurt.

My fear is fading  
I can't speak it  
Or else you will dig my grave

It was months later when he heard the news that his love was in the hospital. He didn't waste any time getting back. How could he have done this? He knew! He knew that if he left, the other would only get worse! He knew how much the other was attached to him! And Ruki KNEW that Reita knew that, which would've only made it worse when he left.

We fear them finding  
Always whining  
Take my hand now  
Be alive 

Reita walked up to the other's sleeping form. The white sheets looked darker then the others skin and Reita almost cried. He took the other's hand. Ruki was barely alive; his pulse barely there. Reita cried. This was his entire fault! They had said that he stopped eating, and that he never went outside. How could Reita do this to somebody so innocent?

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one

Ruki's eyes opened slowly as he felt somebody touch his hand. Reita was looking sadly down at him. He came back! Ruki managed a small smile. He couldn't say anything; he was too weak to, but Reita knew what he wanted to say. Reita himself apologized for leaving, and that he wouldn't again, but he still refused to change the other.

We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

Two months later. Ruki shivered lightly beside Reita. Reita asked once more if the other was sure. Of course, Ruki nodded. Reita lent in, kissing the other's neck lightly, before biting into the other's soft skin. He had to fight to release the other, the taste overwhelming. But he managed. He seen the other twisting slightly in pain, and held Ruki's hand. It would all be over soon.

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one

Together they walk alone at night, something that nobody could kill. Eternally alive, they couldn't be stopped. Their love stronger then even their will to survive, they lived on. Despite the hunts and murders of their kind all around them, they remained unsuspected.

We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

They hid, and nobody knew. They lived in the country; together forever. How they wished that they could walk in the sunlight together, but being together was better for them than never meeting, and if Reita had not been turned; they would have never met!

Everyone  
Everyone  
Everyone


	9. Say Aoi from Ayabie x Miku

Say- One Republic

Do you know where your heart is?  
Do you think you can find it?

I hate him. Why did he do this? Aoi, how could you? You promised you would never. Never do this again, but you did. And I caught you. Just like last time. When I seen you with him, just like last time. I could feel my heart breaking. Just like last time. I didn't want it to be over. I promised myself that if it happened again, I would leave.

Or did you trade it for something  
Somewhere better just to have it?

Well I am, but it doesn't make it any less painful. Would you have told me? Would you have said that it was a slip? That I wouldn't happen again? Just like last time? Always like last time.

Do you know where your love is?  
Do you think that you lost it?

Did you love me, Aoi? When we first met? Like you said you did? Or was it a lie? Was I only a toy? Brought around only for your amusement? Did I mean nothing all along?

You felt it so strong, but  
Nothing's turned out how you wanted 

Maybe so, but I loved you. More than you could ever understand, I loved you. I still do, and I may always. But you'll never know that love. Because in your mind, and that cold heart, you could never understand what love is.

Well, bless my soul  
You're a lonely soul

It was always like the last time. But this time was different. You came after me. I didn't expect that. Still, I ignored you.

Cause you won't let go  
Of anything you hold 

I went about, packing my things; tried to ignore you as you started taking things out of the suitcase.

Well, all I need  
Is the air I breathe

"Please don't leave," you begged. I looked up at you sadly. Why were you asking this of me? It was you who did this. It was you who chose him over me. Would you get the same love from him as you did from me? I doubt it.

And a place to rest  
My head 

I took my bag downstairs to my car. It was upsetting and I was crying now. But I didn't want you to see. You weren't worth my tears. I tried lifting the heavy bag into the back, but it was too heavy and I couldn't do it.

Do you know what your fate is?  
And are you trying to shake it?

I tried again. I just had to get out of here. I can't believe how weak I am right now! Just as it was about to fall again, I saw your hands reach out and grab it. I looked up at you surprised.

You're doing your best and  
Your best look  
You're praying that you make it

"I understand why you're leaving," you said quietly, "and I just want you to be happy. You deserve someone so much better than me…"

Well, bless my soul  
You're a lonely soul

I stared at you in shock. I wasn't sure if I should still be angry at you, or take you into my arms and give you one last change. I chose the obvious answer.

Cause you won't let go  
Of anything you hold

I hugged you tightly, crying into your shirt, whispering my forgiving words. I could never let you go, no matter how many times I tried to leave.

Well, all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

And until the next time this happens, I'll try my hardest. Yes, I knew there would be a next time. That's just the way you are.

I said I all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

You can't control yourself or what you do, but I still love you. Just the way you are. My Aoi; my beautiful, wonderful Aoi. 


	10. I'll Find you Somewhere

Uruha was busy in the kitchen, making a nice cake for his and Aoi's two year wedding anniversary, when the doorbell rang. Walking over slowly, a bowl of batter in his arms, he opened the door. He was surprised to see two officers standing outside of his door. Looking at them nervously, he frowned.

**Lost in the darkness  
Hoping for a sign  
Instead there's only silence  
Can't you hear my screams?**

"Hello officers," he said cautiously, looking worriedly at them. Had something happened? Was the band in trouble? Did Reita get in another fight? He hoped not since he was usually the one to go and bail him out.

"Takashima Kouyou, we assume?" Uruha nodded to their question. "What's the problem, officers?" He was starting to get worried now. If Reita had gotten into a fight, they would have just let him call. Was Reita hurt? Or did this have something to do with Aoi? Was Aoi hurt? Looking more worried, he looked back to the officers. "What's going on?"

**Never stop hoping  
Need to know where you are  
But one thing's for sure  
You're always in my heart**

"Your spouse is Shiroyama Yuu is that correct?" Uruha's chest tightened slightly at the question, nodding slowly. "Y-yes…" Tears were already threatening to fall down his eyes. What was going on? "We're very sorry to tell you this, but the building that your spouse works in had a fire, and the building burned down. We managed to get a majority of the people out, but we were unable to get him out before the building collapsed." Uruha could swear his heart stopped beating. The bowl of cake batter fell from his hand shattering on the floor, but Uruha hardly even noticed. He couldn't breathe. The tears he had been holding back were flowing quickly down his cheeks as he lost his balance, catching onto the door for support.

**I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying  
Until my dying day  
I just need to know  
Whatever has happened  
The truth will free my soul**

Uruha vaguely remembered the officers helping him sit down before leaving. He stared blankly into the space around him. He was sitting in the living room , but couldn't even take in the things around him. His vision was blurred as tears still crowded in his eyes. Still not having spoken, he didn't know what to do; he didn't know what to say. And who was he going to say it to? There was no one here. Aoi wasn't here, and he never would be. Not anymore.

**Lost in the darkness  
Tried to find your way home  
I want to embrace you  
And never let you go  
**

Uruha bent over and sobbed, finally letting out all the pain he felt in his chest through tears, though it hardly relieved the pain. He just felt so alone. He heard a knock at the door, but couldn't bring himself to answer it, or to even move. He just couldn't stop crying. He felt as if his whole world was crashing down around him. He could hear his band mates coming in, and hugging him, though he barely felt their touches anymore. He guessed they had heard the news, too.

Despite the fact that his friends were just trying to help, Uruha didn't really want them around right now. They just seemed to remind him that none of them were Aoi. It wasn't Aoi cleaning up the mess of batter on the floor, but Kai; it wasn't Aoi bringing him the glass of water and a blanket, but Ruki. It was as if the world was just rushing past him, and Uruha was just sitting in the middle of it.

**Almost hope you're in heaven  
So no one can hurt your soul  
Living in agony  
Cause I just do not know  
Where you are**

Laying under the blanket that Ruki had brought him, he reached out slowly to turn on the TV. He wasn't really sure why. Maybe he wanted to see if the news had done anything on what had happened, maybe hoping that it would shed some light onto why his love had to die. Why now the world around Uruha just seemed empty. Uruha watched as the news replayed the footage of firefighters leading people out of the burning building, the people running as the building collapsed behind him. Uruha sobbed, thinking of how his beloved was still in there. Ruki had mentioned that the police were unable to recover Aoi's remains, and that had only made Uruha cry harder. Kai had ushered the other's away from Uruha. Watching the news replay the footage over and over again, Uruha sobbed. He wanted his husband back. He couldn't live without him.

Sniffling, Uruha got up, still looking sad, he went into the kitchen where everyone was sitting around the table, drinking tea. Uruha had been offered some, but he had refused to drink anything, even the glass of water that still sat in the living room.

**I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying  
Until my dying day  
I just need to know  
Whatever has happened  
The truth will free my soul**

"Uruha?" Kai's voice was soft as he questioned the other, curious as to see him up when he hadn't gotten a response out of him all night. Uruha barely looked at the other's, focusing his gaze on the ground.

"I'm going to take a bath and go to sleep, ok?" the other's nodded as Uruha walked upstairs. Uruha needed to relax. Stepping into the hot water of the tub, Uruha sat back and cried. "Aoi….." Sobbing, he let the pain overwhelm him. He couldn't live without the man; he wouldn't. He was scared, but he would do anything to be with him again. Anything. His hand shaking gently, he grabbed the razor from the counter. Trembling, Uruha cried. "I'll be with you soon, Aoi…..I promise," he said softly.

**Wherever you are  
I won't stop searching  
Whatever it takes me to know**

Kai walked up to the door slowly. He was worried about leaving the other alone right now. He was afraid that the other might do something irrational. "Uruha?" No response. Kai frowned and pushed the door open slowly. He gasped and covered his mouth in horror at the sight in front of him. Uruha's body lay relaxing in the water, he eyes shut. The arm hanging off the side bleeding from a cut down Uruha's forearm left a puddle of warm, red blood on the white tiled floor. Kai cried and fell to his knees.

**I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying  
Until my dying day  
I just need to know  
Whatever has happened  
The truth will free my soul**

Kai hoped sadly as he stroked Uruha's hair softly, shutting off the water, that his poor friend would find his Aoi again someday; somewhere.


	11. The Garden

**Hey Guys, I know that it's unusual for me to put in Author's Notes before Chapters, especially since BFA was finished ^^;; I'm sorry that it's been forever since I've updated anything like my chaptered fics, but my muse for writing has been destroyed lately so I'm slowly building it back up. DON'T WORRY! I promise that I will not desert you! I know that the fandom has been shrinking, -sniffs- its sad I know. –sigh- But I am starting another new story to help get my creativity back up, so you can look forward to that that. I hope you haven't all forgotten me; its been a while ^^;; A couple other things I wanna say, if you have any idea of one shots for me to write, a couple or anything I'd be willing to try it ^^ even a song idea for these song fics here hehe! Just to help get my creativity going again :P Another thing, I want to thank **0928soubi at .jp f**or being my number one fan this whole time ^^ everytime I post something, she reviews it, and it makes my day everytime she does, so I just wanted to say thank you 3 You're like my little angel :D**

Ruki watched the man as he played so eloquently. The break in the chorus allowed Ruki to gaze longingly at the raven haired guitarist. Despite being in front of thousands of people, as they were in the Mirah middle of a concert, Ruki felt no shame as he went to the other, and ran his fingers up and down his hips. The crowd cheered, and the raven man glanced at him. Fan service between the two of them was not planned, and Ruki could feel the eyes of the honey blonde guitarist on his back, feeling the jealous glare, but not caring. He knew that the other guitarist liked him a way that the fans would go crazy over. He had been told so many time by the honey blonde that he was the object of his desires, but he couldn't deny his own feelings for the man in his grasp now.

**Oh oh i really wanted that thing  
I just want to sing**

Just as he leaned in to kiss the raven while he still had a chance, his cue came to sing again and he sighed, feeling the other's lips only slightly. Whining, Ruki moved away and went back to the centre of the stage to finish singing. After the final song, they did their jump, hand in hand, Ruki smiled as he managed to stand beside Aoi, even if it screwed up the formation they had earlier planned out.

**I love you baby  
Won't you bring**

Running off the stage, he was immediately taken aside by one of the guitarists, unfortunately not the one Taka would have liked. "Ru, what was that all about? We hadn't discussed any fanservice with Yuu? Ru, do you have any idea how much it hurt to see that?" Taka did feel a little bad that the blonde had to suffer because he didn't return his feelings, but there was nothing he could do about it. He loved Yuu. "Kou… I'm sorry you're hurting… but I can't return the feelings you have to me. I've told you that… Please," Taka said sadly, before leaving to go find Yuu. He knew what the blonde was feeling, he himself was sick of ignoring his feelings and knew that it was about time he did something to change the situation.

**All the flowers you  
Find out in the garden  
Don't tell me the truth  
That your heart has hardened**

Taka was nervous as he knocked on the door of the raven haired man's house. When there was no answer, Taka pouted, but then thought. Around this time, Yuu was usually eating dinner, and it was a nice night. Going through the gate, Taka went into the back yard and found Yuu just as he had suspected. However the raven was not eating. He seemed to just be standing on the deck, smoking and looking at the stars. The two of them used to be really close, but as soon as Uruha had started going after Taka, Yuu had distanced himself from the vocalist, and Taka was tired of being ignored.****

But you don't want me anymore  
How can it be  
Look what you've done to me

"Oh, Taka…" Taka stared in shock as he heard the other say his name. Did the other see him? It didn't seem so as Yuu's eyes had not moved from the sky and he had made no move to show that he was aware Taka was even there. Hiding himself, Taka listened for more. "Look what you've done to me, Ru. Ever since Kouyou got you for himself, I have nothing left to live for." Yuu sighed sadly. "What was today all about? If you're with him, then why would you do that? Make me want you, and then leave me with nothing? How bold…" Sighing, Yuu looked down sadly. Taka was in tears. The other liked him? And he thought that he was with Kouyou? Sighing, Taka stood up, making himself known to the other. Yuu gasped and just stared at him. Taka smiled and walked up the steps slowly and made his way over to the other. "Yuu…" "Taka…."****

Oh oh  
Oh oh the bee does quickly sting  
I was wondering  
If you could maybe darling  
Think? I'd give everything  
If you'd grant my love a pardon

"Ru…what are you doing here?" Yuu walked over to Taka slowly in a daze. He was unaware that Taka had heard what he said, but he was certain that by this point, Taka had overheard. Blushing, Yuu moved closer, taking Taka's hand. "Yuu…I…I needed to talk to you." Yuu looked at the other worriedly. "Is everything ok, Ru? Are you and Kouyou doing ok?" Taka smiled sadly. "Yuu…me and Kouyou aren't together. We never were."

**And all the fruits  
Again would fill the garden**

Yuu was shocked. Never together? So this whole time that Yuu had been depressed about his love being with someone else and having no hope of being with him…after all this time…and now here was Taka, saying that it had never happened. That he could've been with him the whole time, if only he had gathered enough courage. Taka moved closer and took the other's hands in his own. "Yuu…I love you….not Kouyou…" Taka pulled him close, tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe that it had been all this while, and he could've been with him this whole time.****

But you don't want me anymore  
How can it be?  
Look what you've done to me

"Oh, Ru…you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that," Yuu said, pulling the vocalist closer and kissing him deeply. Taka wrapped his arms around the other tightly and smiled, kissing back happily. "Ru?" "Yes, Yuu?" "I love you…" "I love you, too, Yuu."  
**  
Oh oh  
Oh oh, oh oh oh oh**


	12. Wonder Wall

There was always a reason why they could never get along. He always knew there was something wrong with how he felt. Could it have been this the whole time? Sitting in the hospital, he looked over at the other. Even three years since they first found out, it was still a shock to Reita when he saw Ruki in the small room, holding the teddy bear he had gotten him when he was first admitted. It was a source of comfort for Ruki after spending the years stuck in this hellhole. He was never able to see Reita. Once a month Reita would come. Each time, it was like they were meeting each other all over again. It seemed Ruki would never get better.

**Today is gonna be the day**

**That they're gonna throw it back to you**

**By now you should've somehow**

**Realized what you gotta do**

**I don't believe that anybody**

**Feels the way I do, about you now**

Ruki would be afraid when Reita would first come, not recognizing him, but once he had hugged the blonde former-bassist he would recognize the scent of the other; the same as the bear he held every day. He recognized once more that Reita was his lover, his saviour. He would one day take Ruki far away from this awful place, and then maybe the horrible nightmares would stop.

**Back beat, the word was on the street**

**That the fire in your heart is out**

**I'm sure you've heard it all before**

**But you never really had a doubt**

**I don't believe that anybody**

**Feels the way I do about you now**

Every time Reita would visit, it would break his heart. His love was wasting away in the hospital that didn't seem to be helping the short former-vocalist at all. He wanted so desperately to help his love, but there was just no possible way. He had no clue what Ruki went through every night. The horrible nightmares that would plague his dreams, and more recently his reality. Ever since the accident, Ruki would see the horrible sight of his former-bandmates and friends burning inside the vehicle that himself and the bassist narrowly escaped. The explosion happened so fast, there was no chance of saving their friends.

**And all the roads we have to walk are winding**

**And all the lights that lead us there are blinding**

**There are many things that I**

**Would like to say to you but I don't know how**

Ruki was still suffering from that night, seeing it replay in his dreams every night. Now he was even starting to see his friends standing in front of him, burnt and crying that he could have saved them. He felt alone, and yet he never truly was.

**Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me**

**And after all, you're my wonderwall**

**Today was gonna be the day**

**But they'll never throw it back to you**

**By now you should've somehow**

**Realized what you're not to do**

**I don't believe that anybody**

**Feels the way I do, about you now**

Reita had been told today that he would not be able to see his love ever again. He fought and argued as much as he could, but he couldn't ignore the facts that they presented him. Every time Reita would visit, it would bring Ruki right back to that night, hindering him from recovery, even making it worse. Now he was sitting there with his love in his arms as the former-vocalist told him of the horrors he witnessed every day. Reita could never imagine what that must be like.

**And all the roads that lead you there are winding**

**And all the lights that light the way are blinding**

**There are many things that I**

**Would like to say to you but I don't know how**

He couldn't tell the other that he would never return. He didn't want to upset him even more. He wanted the other to recover, to be able to live his life again. Even if that meant Reita himself couldn't be in it. And maybe one day, he could be the one to save him.

**I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me**

**And after all, you're my wonderwall**


End file.
